Angry Birds (Playstation Network) (2011)

Eons ago, or as them young people say, a fortnight ago, while I was frequenting the nearby happening discothèque, an inebriated fellow was prattling on about his iPhone as all iPhone owners do and he told me the only reason he bought it was to play Angry Birds. Now, he may have been joking or exaggerating, but if true, then Angry Birds must be serious business if someone is willing to pay over £200 for a phone that Apple will eventually make obsolete within a week just to play one game. I know many people buy a console just to play one game and eventually play more, but still consoles have a long life before being replace by a successor whereas Apple make their products obsolete the minute they release them. Therefore, I got the game, but not on the iPhone. Because I am a free spirited rebel who doesn’t do what the Man tells me, so I downloaded it onto my PS3, which is so deliciously counterintuitive to the idea of portable casual games; like putting ketchup on your Lobster Thermidor.

The plot, oh yes, there is a plot. Which makes me worry what kind of sorry state “realism” is dragging games towards if we now require some contextual justification to catapult birds at pigs. Anyway, a group of limbless pigs have stolen the eggs (by way of the Force, I guess) from a group of limbless birds. So, in order to stop the pigs completing their generational genocide, you must fling the birds at the pigs who are hiding in buildings more unbalanced than a Jenga tower with delirium tremens.

The controls are incredibly simple, as are most iOS games. If video games were meals, iOS would be the simple hors d'oeuvre; satiating us before the meaty main of a PC RPG. You simply move the left analogue stick to the left, in the opposite direction you wish to fling your defenceless animal to a gruesome flat death and with varied pressure to manage what distance and angle they are flinged at, and then release the analogue stick (or alternatively, press the “X” button).
The game does offer variety such as different types of birds; such as "bomb birds", willing to blow themselves up for the glory of the bird nation and the reward of 72 virgins; and white birds that use their eggs as bombs, which must be less genetically pure than the eggs we must save from the pigs eating (ONLY DER MASTER RACE VILL PREVAIL). And the physics employed in the structures does give a sense of randomness that ensures that no two playthroughs are alike.
 
My only complaint is that the ‘3-star’ rewards system seem completely arbitrary; on one level, I only used one bird and completely destroyed the pigs’ complex as well as destroying them and I only got one star, and this was the first level. What more does the game want? Should I turn away when I fling the bird thereby negating the observer effect of physics? The prerequisite to get three stars seems to vary from stage to stage; on some it depends on points or how many birds you use or how much destruction you do/don’t cause.

Angry Birds is a fun and addictive game, with varied, but incredibly simple gameplay. However, seeing as this is a ne plus ultra of casual games, that isn’t really a hindrance, especially when you consider this game has sold over twelve million copies from the Apple Store, had been ported to multiple systems and there’s even consideration for a film adaptation...yes, seriously.

I’m Random Internet Critic and I criticise it because you now represent the ashes that you leave behind.